Tag Archives: Humor

What is important in a relationship? Chapter 1 of 10 – Why it is okay to be single…wait…what?

Before I write anything on this topic, I must offer a disclaimer: I am only human. My views are not universally constant, and to be totally honest, I am still figuring this relationship thing out. I just have a few ideas, small and big, that might be workable for others, so I want to present them. Feel free to hear me out, but if you think you have it all together, go ahead and move along. If you’d like. 

Well, here is something I haven’t done before; a self-help series! I want to offer you, as the blogger, some tips that might help in the topic of dating and singleness. These, as previously stated, are not umbrella concepts. They are just concepts I’ve mulled over in my own relationship, and hopefully they, in some way, might have some sort of application to your life, single or not! I have ten tips, and I will present each of them over the next few weeks, hopefully ending on December 31st, so you can start a new year with your significant other, trying some new things. 

Today, I will present my introduction, and my first tip!

Introduction: Dating is a weird aspect of human life. We dance around people of the opposite sex, hoping to impress them with some odd cocktail of pheremones, eventually to commit only to them, get married, and procreate. Why in the world do we do this? It makes no sense at all sometimes, until we go back to the beginning of time, and look at the world’s first couple. In the Bible, Adam was the first man, and he was alone – one man to name every animal on Earth. That job seems massive, right? God decided that no animal would do any good for Adam as a partner, so he created Eve (from one of Adam’s ribs – SCIENCE!), and Adam finally had a partner suitable for living with. God said that this partnering of Adam and Eve was good, so all was well with the world upon this pairing. I think if you were to look at the triune Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Ghost) and the very first relationship on Earth, you would probably begin to see that it was okay to be in community with others, whether in a romantic sense or otherwise. I think God desires for us to have companionship. It doesn’t have to be romantic, but I think we need to establish that perpetual isolation is not the best option. We must pursue interpersonal relationships with other people, and I think personally that the way we think and feel will improve because of more interaction. In this series I will probably focus on the romantic side of a relationship, but hopefully, you will find that some aspects I’ll discuss will transfer over into the world of friendship as well! All relationships are important, whether good bad or otherwise, and hopefully these conversations will help us understand that a little better. I want to discuss some misconceptions about relationships over the next few days, and hopefully provide insight that might bring you all some peace, new understanding, or reaffirmation of an idea that you already had! Are you ready, because I’m not! This will be fun. 

1. IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE. Really. I promise. 

This post goes out to all of the friends and strangers that – like me, have felt struggles to feel right in their singleness. For the longest time, I couldn’t deal with being single. All of my friends were pairing off, and it seemed like I would move to a place of “Old Maidhood,” in which I would just be a crazy old single friend that no one wanted to be around anymore. I felt lost, and I felt lonely. It felt like, without a girlfriend, I wouldn’t be able to make it. I moved from affection to affection, seeking some sort of satisfaction, but never experiencing any. It was really hard to look at my friends who were in relationships, and honestly, I just felt like sitting alone was the only thing I could do in peace anymore (totally counter-intuitive. If you feel lonely, don’t go be alone. That does no good. Just for what it’s worth), so I would try to do that. What I didn’t realize at that time was that it is okay, sometimes advantageous, to be single. (Let me throw in another disclaimer: I am no longer single. I’ve been in a committed relationship for over 3 years, and I couldn’t be happier! I just know that this relationship only started after I came to understand the benefits of singleness, so I feel as if I must bring forward the idea that it is indeed okay to not have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just for what it’s worth.) Being single has several benefits, but for time’s sake, I will choose three:

1. Singleness can, on occasion, be beneficial for ministry efforts.

This is very much a contextual idea, but if you think about it, Jesus and Paul were both single. I think Paul especially was confident in his singleness, as it allowed him issue-free travelling, with no responsibility to provide for a family while on mission. This fit his ministry well, as he traveled all over the known world, sharing the Gospel with anyone who offered an ear. It is reasonable to think that this kind of travel and punishment (several jail trips, numerous other persecutions), would have been very exhaustive/damaging to a family, so it was better that he was single.

It is not always better to be single while doing ministry, as there are benefits to doing mission work alone, or in partnership (Going to save that idea for another post). As I mentioned earlier, I think singleness fits in many ministerial contexts, if you feel called to a ministry that requires singleness for effectiveness, I would encourage you to pursue that lifestyle. It may lead to a freedom and effectiveness in ministry that you might never have imagined. 

2. Sometimes it is okay to spend time just getting to know yourself. 

Let’s be honest – do you really feel like you know yourself? Do you? When you are in a relationship, your significant other will learn things about you – small things, sometimes things you didn’t even know – that may spark some very interesting conversations/arguments, and if you don’t know things in your life that are stumbling blocks or quirks that would cause relational problems, then you should probably take some time by yourself to learn about those things. No human on this Earth is perfect, so we all could probably use a time of reflection to figure out things that we don’t like that might be in our control. Our significant other should love us for our imperfections as much as our good qualities, but we can’t expect them to be perfect either. Our responsibility is to become the best us that we can be, in order for our relationship with our future significant other to be even more special, and even more successful. 

3. Dating for the sake of dating is not the best method for success. 

Dating is fun. I get it. Seriously though, don’t date unless you have prayed about it and prepped for it. Dating is a prep for a life together, so if you date and break up many times, then I would venture to say that you would struggle eventually with a lifetime commitment like marriage. Playing games with a person’s heart is unfair to that person’s future spouse. You can only imagine what that young person is going to go through after you break up, so it would almost be better if you never dated in the first place. I am not saying that not dating is the best option, but I am saying that you need to be very careful with the heart that you do decide to pursue. If a person is willing to put their feelings in your hands, then it is your responsibility to hold tight to them, and respect them, whether or not they end up in your possession or not. If you are not ready to handle a commitment like that, then you must make sure that your priorities are in the right place. Singleness is not a bad thing in this context. Until you are ready, wait. Pray. Think. Let the Lord work in your singleness, and pursue Him in all other aspects of your life as well. When you do that, you will find that He will bless and honor your relationships in a new and vibrant way. 

Singleness is just fine. Isolation and loneliness are not. Seek out community with other people, and let the Lord work in your relationships, and if all goes according to His plan (it will), then you will experience exactly what He wants for you, which is best. Sit tight, and hold onto Him. That’s all that matters. All of this relationship stuff will happen on His timing. I hope you all will learn to become the best you, and things will improve in all aspects of life! I hope this blog held at least a little insight. If not, tell me now, and I’ll discontinue the series. If it did hold some worthwhile ideas, let me know, and I’ll keep it going! Thanks for reading this far, and I wish you the best as you look through some of the muddled thoughts that I like to present on a page. God bless!

Tomorrow’s post: Five Ideas for Application in Relationships. 

See you then! 

Jesse

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A Typical Day in the Life of a Student Janitor…I Promise This isn’t Horribly boring. I promise.

Well, a lot of people might not know this, but I moonlight (literally) as a night shift janitor in the Chickasaw Business and Conference Center in Ada, Oklahoma. This is one of two of my jobs (the other being a tutoring gig in the afternoons), and added to plenty of coursework (I’ve written over two hundred pages of papers this semester. If you’d like to read them, tell me and I will post them), I have been kept pretty busy. I thought today, I would post five (arbitrarily picked. Don’t ask why I chose that number) lessons I’ve learned while cleaning,  and hopefully, you will see that janitors can have a little personality. lol. If you are uninterested, here is a joke for your entertainment, and you can click away if you see fit.

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A: A rebel without a Claus.

For those who are curious, here we go!

1. Girls’ bathrooms are straight nasty. 

Like..seriously? I am sorry to ruin misconceptions about girls’ bathrooms being pretty, nice smelling, and having all the things guys wish they had in their bathrooms, but it has to happen. I have cleaned numerous bathrooms in the brand-new conference center, and, much to my chagrin, they were…icky. I can’t say much, but yeah. There’s that.

2. People have the capacity to put their chairs back in, but don’t. 

Because, who puts their chairs in? It’s not like the janitors do anything anyway.

3. People also seem to be dirt magnets until they sit down, when the dirt releases onto the floor of the classroom. 

I’m not even mad, I think this is kind of funny. I could swear that Pigpen from the “Peanuts” series  or the guy who always dives in the mud in the Brett Favre Wranglers commercial took classes in the business building. Lots of dirt. Everywhere. Always. It is honestly kind of impressive. Go you, you dirty man.

4. I am very much an expert with a broom now. 

Not quite as relevant to my post, but because I often sweep several thousand square feet in a shift, I have gained some skill in sweeping (I call it dirt hockey…because, well, I can). I like to think that I am the Sidney Crosby of janitors, without the lame injuries. Sometimes I’ll even narrate my sweeping dirt into a dustpan, like I’m scoring a goal. I think my boss doesn’t like that.

5. If you are going to clean, do it to the tune of your favorite song. 

Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell seem to know me on a deeper level. When I clean a lobby to the tune of “Ain’t no Mountain High enough, I clean faster. Who doesn’t mind getting something done quicker? My dancing skills have also improved vastly, but that’s for the day I decide to start a vlog (never). Until then, you will only be able to imagine me dancing to the tune of that song, singing “Ain’t no bathroom nasty enough,” without seeing.

6. The ECU custodial staff is incredible. 

I have thoroughly enjoyed working for my school! I feel a great sense of pride in my work, and because of my experience with a group of hard-working people, I have learned a lesson about work ethic. I feel so great about the completion of my first semester, that’s for sure!

I hope, that after seeing this post, you will see that custodians have a little personality! We love to have fun, and we like to keep things clean. Next time you see a janitor. Thank them for working hard, and for cleaning up your crap. Literally.

My Entry for the Creative Writing Challenge

Well, I saw a haiku contest, and I wanted to enter. It is as simple as that. I will post all five haikus here at once, and hopefully they will be rather good! I call this “Haikus on a rainy Monday.” I will post a link below for anyone else interested in the little game.

Here we go!

1. I wake up

I wake up sad; angry.

It is snowing out my window

And I still have class.

 

2. Time to get ready

I get out of bed

And throw some pants on, I’m rushed.

I don’t want to leave.

 

3. Class

British Lit, why not?

Sense and Sensibility

My mind; worn to mush.

 

4. Work

I sit at my desk

Pondering mysteries of

Blogging or sleeping.

 

5. Bed again

Sweet sleep, so far gone

Time to catch up with you now.

Close my eyes sweetly.

They may not be great, but it’s a start! Hopefully you will be able to get your creative juices flowing. Here’s a link! http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/25/challenge-haiku/

The Miracle of Successful Time Management (and why I am Living on a Prayer).

Well, I have to be honest. I am bad with my time. This week in particular, I have really struggled with productivity, especially when it comes to doing homework and writing papers. I’m learning again, as I always do at this time in the semester, that time management is paramount to success as a student or even more broadly, as a human being. These are the proverbial “Dog Days” of the semester, when students decide to put down Hemingway and pick up a new series on Netflix. Every college student has felt this at one time or another, and that is almost a proven problem. In my case, my time management issue comes in my literature classes (I love these classes, and the material is fantastic. Just not staying on track very well. lol). Instead of writing papers or reading my assigned book, I’ve been killing time on Facebook, and distracting myself with anything within reach. This has not inhibited me greatly, but it will if I am not careful (I learned this lesson last year, so I am taking precautionary measures). All of this rambling aside, I am going to give you all a few ideas for battling boredom and staying on track (in a collegiate context. When I learn about adult life, I’ll blog about it too). Here they are!

(Another disclaimer before I begin this list: I understand that in the previous paragraph I mentioned my issues with time-management. I am no authority, but every pointer I am putting up here will be applied in my life at some point in the semester. Just food for thought – not the golden rules.)

 

1. You don’t have to overschedule in order to succeed.

I find that there is a healthy balance between overzealously blocking out every single minute and not keeping a planner at all. I think that if you were to keep and check a planner, you would be more effective, but you must also allow time for flexibility. As a college student especially, campus activities will take up time on a pretty consistent basis. These events are scheduled in a seemingly arbitrary way, so if you want to remain involved on campus, you must allow a little bit of wiggle room in your schedule. No need at all to be blocked up down to every minute of every day. Living that way makes life a pain.

2. Do NOT get over-involved. Just don’t do it.

I know this sounds really weird, coming from a guy who at one time was in a campus activities committee, working two different jobs, and taking twenty hours in a semester. Trust me. Getting involved is great, but it comes at a cost: time. I would submit that in order to enjoy college more, you must at least go to events put on by campus committees. You know the activities fee in your tuition costs? Yeah. You are already paying for it, just go get involved. It is a waste of money to not show up to events. My warning for you comes connected with the idea of involvement: if you do too much, you will burn out. Guaranteed. It is incredibly difficult to stay on track with homework and work (two things that are kind of important…) if you are busy at the Pizza Hodown or Shaving Cream Slip ‘n’ Slide (ficticious events). Again – involvement good, over-involvement, bad.

3. Make time for the things and people you love. After your homework is done.

I sound like your dad. I’m sorry. Seriously though, make your degree your priority. The frat boy can finish school by the skin of his teeth, saying that he networked like crazy, but friends does not a good person make. The key to success in this area of time management is a balance between social activity and academic focus. These sides can intermingle, but as long as they are somewhat evenly balanced, success should be at least a little easier. It may sound weird that I think homework should come first, but as I’ve done all the college nights out (stay at McDonalds till 4 A.M., IHOP till about the same time, etc.), I can say from experience that too much social activity hurts grades, and too much studying hurts social skills. It is good to come out of college a well-rounded student. Not someone who wasted time on any one thing.

I am not an authority. At all. I hope that these are only a short list of some pretty wonderful ideas for living a little more efficiently, and if you feel I am either off-base or lacking in my ideas, submit more! I’m always in need of more blog ideas. Just a few thoughts for you, from a college kid who is still on his way around the block. Love y’all. Keep readin’.

 

 

 

 

 

The  challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the most significant  struggles faced by modern man.
Stephen Covey

15 Things you need to know if you are a future SBU student

Hey friends! I know that I am posting twice in a day, but I still haven’t put together a routine for this yet. I had an idea: since I am a graduate of SBU now, I thought I would impart some of my “infinite” knowledge about college and my experiences on you. I hope that even if this doesn’t seem relevant, hopefully you might catch a laugh or two from these tidbits.

Here we go!

  1. Go to Welcome Week! SBU has an orientation week that is spectacular. The committee in charge does a fantastic job in planning (I should know, I was on it for a while), and friendships you make at your Welcome Week or Orientation Week will be some of the best connections in your college career.
  2. Please, PLEASE do not wear your lanyard around your neck after your first month at any college. We understand the usefulness of having a lanyard and all of your keys and ID handy, but after a while, when your turn your head and hit me with a lanyard, it becomes a tad annoying. It may or may not be a little goofy looking as well. No offense.
  3. Don’t be afraid of your academic advisor. These people are great. Their job is to help you succeed as a college student, and they really are helpful if you ask them to be. 
  4. Get involved! The best way to make friends and learn alot is by getting involved in any of the infinite amount of activities offered at a university. I know personally at SBU that UAC and SA are doing great things for campus life, and there seems to be a crop of new clubs popping up every year. Involvement is great, but be careful to remember that you are a student first, and if you get over-involved, you could hurt your grades alot. So just get involved within reason. 
  5. Find a church family! Religion may not be your thing. I understand. But let me say this: there is no group of people more loving and more accepting than a church family. Its their job to love you and welcome you. Being at a church will also keep you on the straight and narrow. I know for me, I was held accountable alot, and it really helped me to stay on the straight road and to really become a respectable person.
  6. Don’t freak out if the people behind the desk in the cafeteria know your name not a week into school. For me as an SBU student specifically, it was a little odd that a little old lady knew my name by the end of Welcome Week. It is okay though. Its great, in fact. I became very close to Miss Kay this year especially, and it became a really nice connection to have, especially when I lost my ID and she let me eat without it for the last week of school. That connection means alot.
  7. To SBU students: look at the sidewalk when you walk. And don’t be mad if someone else doesn’t notice you because they are doing the same. They aren’t looking down to ignore you, for the most part, they are trying to keep their footing. Here and there, the sidewalks on campus get a little weird, and you need to be ready. 
  8. Enjoy the student-led events on campus! Usually every University has some very talented people who are in charge of event planning, and the events that come out of those meetings are really fun. Some examples that occur on the reg at SBU are the Zombie Run, the Amazing Race, and Mini Golf in the Library. These events draw alot of people, but they are always worth the wait. I’ve never gone to an event I didn’t enjoy. 
  9. Do your best to hear your teachers out. It is hard sometimes, I’ve had some professors that I really didn’t agree with. The concept that you as a student will have to realize is that if you don’t do the assignment to your professor’s liking, then you may not get a good grade. I will say that even in my worst classes, listening to my professors has proven to be worthwhile when I least expected it. 
  10. Safety and Security will be your best friend, or your worst nightmare. Be respectable, and follow University policies. That’s how you avoid the ire of the security crew. Its really not that hard guys. If you decide that doing something questionable is something you want to try, just be careful. I understand the need for fun too. Just remember, if you get caught, they have tasers. 
  11. Get to know the people on your hall! These are usually a collection of people from all sorts of walks of life, and it will benefit you to have a diverse friend group. For SBU especially, getting to know your dorm and your hallmates will help you when it comes to homecoming week. Spend time with the guys or girls that live with you, it will prove to be valuable to you during your college career. 
  12. Don’t quit when it gets hard. College has moments where it is extremely difficult. Don’t worry, its going to happen. I can think of a Physics test I took this past Spring that nearly killed me, and I studied pretty well. Don’t be afraid, you will get through it. College takes alot of effort and perseverance, and it is a really sweet moment to shake C. Pat’s hand and take your diploma on stage in front of several thousand people. Just keep pushing. 
  13. You will find anything you want to find if you spend time looking for it. People do alot of things on and off campus, and there is a different group of people and events for every taste. Be careful, however, that you don’t look for things you don’t want to find. I don’t mean to be foreboding, but here and there, some not so great things occur. Just don’t get into that. 
  14. KNOW YOUR MISSION STATEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you go to SBU, know it. Say it in front of a mirror. Lord forbid, you will be caught on your heels by the president and asked to recite it (it will happen). Just know it guys. “Southwest Baptist University is a Christ-centered caring academic community preparing students to be servant leaders in a global society.” Its not that hard, and you’ll need it to pass your first Seminar test anyways. Just know it. You will live and die by that mission statement for as long as you attend there. 
  15. If there is anything you do at SBU, you need to do this: have fun! It is vitally important to spend time with friends and enjoy your college experience. These are the last few years of total freedom, so get out of your dorm every day and do something! Enjoy people, and make moments and memories. When you walk across the graduation stage, you want to be able to say that you milked SBU for all it was worth. Graduating with regrets is not a good feeling. 

As I typed this, I came up with a few more, but I will roll with this for now. Feel free to add your thoughts as well! I would love to know of other current students’ opinions and experiences. I hope that you will read these and see both the humor and importance of some of these ideas. Get excited! I hope you will come to SBU and love your experience. Do your best to have an amazing time in college, and I hope you learn alot while attending. 

Go Bearcats!